As with anything and everything in life, there's the "good"...and the "bad". Case-in-point: I was able to stay inside yesterday, nice and warm on a blustering, incredibly cold (so I heard) afternoon. That was the "good". The "bad"? The reason I had to remain indoors: my back and neck problems have returned. With a vengeance. Another example? A year ago, I had a terrific time performing as Reverend Parris in a performance of Arthur Miller's play "The Crucible". Unfortunately I had to stand during three of the four acts (in Act Three I had little to do and basically had to stand in one position for at least thirty minutes) - and this inactivity led to a significant worsening of the back and neck problems that yesterday resulted in my enforced "incarceration". (I still workout veery morning for two hours…so I suppose I was asking for this!) Anyway... I suppose I could pile on the cliches that fit ("c'est la vie"; "it is what it is"). Instead I am just going to give a big and heartfelt "Oy Vey"!" and be done with it.
Trapped indoors, devoid of human companionship, I still managed to have a productive day....I finished working on a new song, completed the copyright registration process for another...even read a little. (I am out of practice I'm afraid.) And then it was time to relax and watch a movie on Netflix.
My "instant" choice? "Keeping Up With The Steins". Released in 2006, I hadn't heard of the movie but it sounded interesting:
"Two parents plan an over-the-top bar mitzvah for their 13-year-old son, while the boy struggles with his own shyness and his desire to see his father and grandfather reconcile in this sharp but loving satire of materialism."
<spoiler alert: if you are going to watch this movie one day, stop here!>
The movie promised starring performances by some well-known and talented Hollywood actors: Jeremy Priven, Jami Gertz, Cheryl Hines. Somehow I had never gotten around to seeing an episode of Priven's television show "Entourage" but he (and Gertz as well) have co-starred in Seinfeld episodes (Priven as the actor playing George in the "Jerry" pilot, Gertz as the phone-sex woman who refuses to help Elaine in the ladies room). And Hines has had a long - and hilariously portrayed - run as the wife of Larry David on "Curb Your Enthusiasm". Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David....high praise indeed. Other actors in the cast included Daryl Hannah, Doris Roberts (the mother on "Everyone Loves Raymond"), and the legendary actor/director Richard Benjamin. (In his starring role in Philip Roth's "Goodbye Columbus", Benjamin is fondly remembered by every male Jewish adolescent of a certain age as the young man who - well, for awhile at least - successfully romances the beautiful Ivy League college shiksa (played with an appropriate air of emotional detachment by Ali McGraw).
Settling in to watch the movie, I was positive that "keeping Up With The Steins" would be a very entertaining couple of hours. Wrong! Ninety-nine minutes later - it felt like several hours - I wondered - and not for the first time - how talented people - everyone involved in the creative process - could start with what appeared to be an interesting and viable concept - and make the dullest movie imaginable. One completely devoid of any intellectual and/or emotional stimulation. It makes me wonder what the director - and the producers - were thinking. Why do are some cinematic endeavors evolve into the highest form of art while others fail to deliver? (Or - as in this case - woefully fail to deliver.)
The simple premise: Priven and Gertz are married. (They play Adam and Joanne Fiedler.) The Fiedlers live a wealthy lifestyle in California. They are Jewish and their son, a shy, insecure young boy, is turning thirteen. Adam's friend and business partner, Arnie Stein, and his wife have just given their own son the most outrageous bar mitzvah. The location? A cruise ship. The theme": "Titanic". (Don't ask.) And of course - an enormous, catered party with hundreds of guests and every culinary delight imaginable. You get the picture? Theodore Dreiser's "conspicuous consumption". Twenty-first century edition. A footnote to the lavish proceedings: somewhere during the day an important religious ceremony supposedly takes place.) Afterwards Priven and Gertz are adamant; their son Ben's bat mitzvah must top the Steins. The solution? Renting out Dodger Stadium for perhaps the biggest - and most ostentatious - party ever. The topper: Priven works in the music industry. And thus the one- and-only Neil Diamond is hired to sing at the party.
The satiric possibilities inherent in the premise are endless. Certainly there was tremendous opportunity to deliver a gentle yet important message while still entertaining the audience. (See the movie "Parenthood" - directed by Ron Howard - as a prime example.) Instead "Keeping Up With The Steins" devolves into the a crass and predictable grossly unfunny mess. Not even worthy of a television sitcom. (Well, perhaps an episode of "Three's Company". Or some other bad sitcom.) Certainly not worthy of comparison to even an episode of "Happy Days"!
What transpires is a series of events/confrontations designed to move the plot from Point A to Point B to Point C, etc. The characters make their decisions and take actions with experiencing much of an emotional journey which would provide the justification for these actions/decisions. The filmmakers decided where they wanted the plot to go - and then the characters went along for the ride. The actors seem to be trying hard but there's no substance or depth to any of the performances. (Acting 101: "What's their motivation? What is their character fighting for?" Answer: whatever the screenwriter, director and producer(s) want!)
Suffice-it-to-say: young Ben - played by Daryl Sabara ("Spy Kids") experiences his predictable epiphany: what does the bar mitzvah really mean - what does it mean to be a man? - and how does it relate to the big party in Dodger Stadium. (Answer: it doesn't.) He diligently pursues his religious studies with Rabbi Richard Benjamin and asks his parents to downsize the party (in the backyard of their California mansion). Along-the-way Ben bonds with his estranged Grandfather, who conveniently supplies all of the answers and is the primary impetus for Ben's spiritual transformation. Grandpa ((played by director Garry Marshall, who once again demonstrates he should stick to directing and forget about emulating Woody Allen) had split from Grandma twenty years before and conveniently abandoned the material world for an Indian reservation, where he lives a pseudo-hippie lifestyle with his new partner, Daryl Hannah.) So Grandpa and Grandson bond. (A few conversations and Ben sees the light.) Dad and Mom easily accept the New Ben (and his request that the party be downsized). Dad and Grandpa have their much delayed but heartfelt reconciliation, Grandma (remember Grandma? she had been abandoned by Grandpa twenty years before) blesses the return of Grandpa to family activities (even with the fetching Daryl Hannah skinny-dipping in the pool a few feet away) - AND finally Ben The Man gets to tell off he pretty girl he had liked - the girl with all the wrong values. - (How could he possibly be attracted to her now?)
The Steins by-the way attend the downsized party in the backyard. Their belief: the party is a clever ploy by the Fiedlers to differentiate themselves by doing the to opposite of what everyone else is doing!
Oh...Neil Diamond shows up to sing after all. (How can anyone possibly cancel Neil Diamond?) Better question: why would a kid born in 1993 want Neil Diamond to sing at his party?
Ninety-nine minutes. A budget of FIVE million dollars.
Oh well. Next time I'll pop in a DVD of "Tootsie". "The Sting". "Good Will Hunting" "Dave". Or even "My Cousin Vinnie".
These back and neck problems of mine better improve quickly!
Bye for now, stay safe. And warm.
Stevenn
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