"WTF? THE BEST OF THE WORST"

Hi Friends!

Sometimes it seems as if there are award ceremonies for almost everything. Did you know that there's even an award ceremony for the pornography industry that mirrors certain categories used for the Academy Awards? (i.e.. Best Cinematographer, Best Original Screenplay, Best Costume Designer, Best Special Effects, etc.) as well as an X-rated take on such mainstream categories such as Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor and the like.

Sunday evening I watched the Golden Globes, which was reasonably entertaining as these things go, and featured the wonderful comedy of Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as co-hosts. Afterward it occurred to me that I was remiss in not revealing my selections for the 2014 WTF awards, a subject near and dear to my heart. Therefore, for the first time, here are my choices as the sole arbiter behind this prestigious - and culturally important - event:

THE AWARD FOR "THE EMPLOYEE MOST UNABLE TO THINK OUT OF THE BOX" goes to: the morning custodian at the New York Sports Club who - went informed that someone had gotten ill in the locker room, responded by telling me that he was "required to neatly fold each and every towel - and stock the shelves with them - before proceeding to any other task!

THE AWARD FOR "THE MOST INSENSITIVE CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE" goes to the rep at the bank of America who insisted that my brother and I pay a fee for expenses incurred by our parents' empty - and unused - safe-deposit box - even though our parents passed away back in 2012, the bank had been properly notified of that fact - and the bank had even paid to us the balance in their accounts!

THE AWARD FOR "THE STUPIDEST RELIANCE UPON TECHNOLOGY" goes to the elderly woman who drove the wrong-way down a one-way street (narrowly hitting me) while completely ignoring both the posted signs as well as the fact that all the parked automobiles were facing the wrong direction - and when confronted with these facts, merely shrugged her shoulders and exclaimed "MY GPS TOLD ME TO MAKE THAT TURN!"

THE AWARD FOR "PLACING YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE MOST DANGEROUS SITUATION" goes to the wonderful mother who crossed Queens Boulevard - AKA "The Boulevard of Death" - texting the whole time with one hand while pushing a baby carriage with her body and holding the hand of her toddler!

THE AWARD FOR "MOST UNRELIABLE TRANSPORTATION INFORMATION" goes to the good folks who programed those electronic traffic signs on Thanksgiving so that on the most heavily traveled day of the entire year, transversing the highways between Staten Island and Suffolk County out on Long island - always difficult even under the best of circumstance - changed to nightmarish proportions as the information regarding highway congestion was almost invariably incorrect - leading to unnecessary re-routing (and contributing to the most excruciatingly lengthy ride ever!)

THE AWARD FOR THE "STUPIDEST NYC MTA TECHNOLOGICAL ACHIEVEMENT" goes to the folks at the MTA who decided to install the new informational kiosks - electronic signs that require customers to touch them (a risky health hazard) that is low to the ground and therefore invisible at any appreciable distance - and mostly exist to display paid advertisements and not to disseminate necessary subway information). (A "PIGGYBACK" AWARD FOR "STUPIDEST NYC MTA TECHNOLOGICAL DECISION" is awarded to the folks at the MTA who pulled back on their promise to roll-out the informative electronic signs currently in use on the Seventh Avenue and 14th Street Lines to the entire subway system - electronic signs which ARE visible up and down the platform and only supply the most useful kind of train information (i.e. train waiting times) to the customers who need that kind of information.

THE AWARD FOR "PLACING OTHER DRIVERS IN THE MOST DANGEROUS SITUATION" goes to the guy who conducted a "Face-Time" conversation with a woman while driving on the Long Island Expressway at 75 miles per hour!

THE AWARD FOR "PLACING ONESELF IN THE MOST DANGEROUS SITUATION" is SHARED by EVERY deliveryman in the city who rides a bike the wrong-way on a one-way street and/or ignores traffic signals, repeatedly risking injury/death bu driving through stop signs and red-lights!

THE AWARD FOR "MOST GUTLESS/STUPIDEST ENTERTAINMENT DECISION" is SHARED by both the CEO at SONY who initially succumbed to blackmail and pulled the movie "The Interview" - AND the SONY executive(s) who green-lighted the idiotic project in the first place!

FINALLY - THE AWARD FOR "MOST GULLIBLE AMERICAN VOTER" goes out to anyone who failed to recognize that he/she was being manipulated by the media's ridiculous and way-out-of-proportion reaction to the Ebola "Crisis" - which somehow disappeared from the radar the day after the mid-term elections! (BTW: a close second in this category would be any American voter who believed the political rhetoric that the country is in terrible economic shape (ignoring the reality that the economy continues to improve and the unemployment down has gone steadily downward.)

OK, yes - I guess there ARE too many award ceremonies.

WTF?

Until next time, be safe!

Stevenn