Hi Friends!
Today's "WTF?" © stevennbeck
The gym I belong to in Queens is located in a mall across the street from a large cemetery. (So I get to park my car and walk to the gym reminded that no matter how hard I work out, my body will ultimately continue to decay…) ANYWAY….after my workout this morning I walked to my car and there was a funeral going on….BIG crowd! perhaps 150 people. But I just couldn't help but notice that at least a quarter - perhaps more - of the attendees were surreptitiously checking their cell phones during the service. And - there was even one guy in a dark suit - engaged in animated conversation - who was kind enough to walk a short distance away so that the service didn't conflict with his ability to converse!
WTF?
All this started me thinking about my own funeral. I gotta make plans... So: to the 6 or 7 of you who will be attending, please note: PLS STAY OFF YOUR FREAKIN' CELL PHONES! I PROMISE that the service will be relatively BRIEF….perhaps someone will say a few short words about my stellar academic and professional career - and even fewer words detailing my list of sexual conquests. (I've had my share of highlights - but - trust me on this- I wouldn't consider it an overwhelmingly lengthy list in terms of numbers of women.) Same for a salute to my acting career - an even shorter list. Now it's true my daughter may spend a few moments detailing all the ways I embarrassed her over the years - but I PROMISE to restrict her to the "Top Ten" (you know, like Letterman). FINALLY - I'll arrange for someone to play one of my original songs (I think "Underground Mode" would be perfect…although "What Went Down" is a contender as well.)
OK….so no cell phones right? Oh, what's the use…it's hopeless…. I think I'll have to arrange for my buddy Rocco from Bensonhurst (he's 6'3 and all muscle) to collect the damn things prior to entering the service. Now don't be sneaking one in….don't make me give you a "WTF?" from the grave…:-)
See you all soon…be safe
Stevenn
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